Why are some people so offended to be told they look like someone? No sooner have the words “I have a friend that looks like you” come out of someone’s mouth and already the eye rolling and defensiveness begun.
I recently introduced two people who resemble each other and they both got somewhat offended and made comments like “Well, I guess anyone with blond hair and glasses looks the same!” This defensive response completely threw me for a loop. I never once said they were twins, but they do look alike.
For some reason, the idea that they looked like someone else seemed to offend them. Why? Do we all just want to live in this fantasy image that we have of ourselves without interruption from the views of others? Or do we really all think we are that original?
The You That You See is Not the You That I See
You look at your face all the time, but could you draw the shape of your nose accurately without looking at it? Assuming you are not a police sketch artist, the nose you draw probably isn’t realistic. We generalize what we look at, especially the things we look at day in and day out. We don’t have time or memory for all of those details, it’s literally a survival technique that allows you to pay attention to new stimuli and be prepared for an attack, but we’re not getting into that right now. My point is that our idea of ourselves is generalized. You have a preconceived idea of what you look like - and it’s not always accurate. I have a preconceived image of what you look like as well, mixed with my biases and memories of you - they are not always accurate either. BUT, having someone show you someone they think resemble you is a great way to get into their head and see how they view you.
There May In Fact Be Someone That Looks Like You
In general, you are not all that original. Yes, when you break it down to specific features and measurements you may have a unique combination of features, colors and sizes, but in the end, we all look like someone else. Granted, not 100%, but it is statistically impossible to not at lease resemble someone else. There are only so many different features and combinations of said features, that at some point there is going to be someone that resembles someone else.
So, no, not all people with blond hair and glasses look the same. People with the same length, style and color of hair, the same body shape, face shape, nose shape, glasses shape and overall style tend to look the same.
Oh, no, my bad. You’re right. You are completely different from everyone else. 100% original.
Maybe It’s Just Me…
I don’t fully understand this phenomenon. The way I see it, meeting someone that another person thinks I look like is an opportunity to see the way another person views me. As long as they don’t think I look like someone heinously ugly, I don’t see the offensiveness. Embrace this opportunity to see yourself through someone else’s eyes!